I think I'm going to find it difficult to keep this topic short but I will TRY!Firstly I know it's been a while, the chaos of Christmas got to me, but that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about the New Year. I personally strongly dislike New Years Eve, don't get me wrong I love the party side of it but I struggle with the 'meaning' behind new Years Eve. There's so much pressure of having the perfect night and you HAVE to have fun and you HAVE to be doing something. You get yourself all worked up for something that literally only lasts for a second. So why bother? Because once it turns 12:01 it's all over. Now I appreciate I may just be sounding like a Debbie downer but I think New Years Eve is overrated. Sorry.
'New Year New Me'
I very rarely say the word 'hate' as I find it powerful. However, I HATE this phrase!!!!!! Why do we say this? It's become something our brain is almost trained to say the second the clock strikes midnight. And it is such a load of nonsense! Is that not what we said last year? And the year before that? And the year before that? But somehow this year is the new us?
Why must we always focus on 'beginnings'. With a beginning there is always an ending and I don't need to tell you again why I dislike endings. I do understand why people like the thought of a new year, it's a fresh start, a clean slate and it gives us the chance to think about what we want to accomplish in the year ahead. But why do we have to wait for a new year to change things? This is why I struggle with the New Year because there's a pressure of reinventing yourself. When realistically, your life isn't going to magically turn around and sort itself out overnight. Not to mention that to create a new 'you' will take much longer than a year, which is why I use my very own phrase 'New Year New Mindset'. I have endless insecurities but I do like myself and I wouldn't want to reinvent myself, but maybe I would like change my thought process? Or I would like to change my approach to situations? That's why is think 'mindset' is a much better word.
How to break the habit
Notice how every year we say "This year I'm going to join a gym" "This year I'll start going to a weekly class" "This year I will pass my driving test" "This year I will work on myself" "This year I will try and be on time". It is SO easy to say these comments and most of the time we genuinely mean it. But then we give up or lose interest or just can't find the time to fit it in. We spend a whole chunk of our time thinking our New Years resolutions but how many have we actually completed? Well I have a little idea/tip and I HOPE it works for you.
FIRST start by writing out a list of the things you want to change/complete/overcome. Make it look nice (not a necessity but this is just something I like to do, also known as time wasting!) as this is something you will check up on throughout the year. Be specific with your tasks, instead of writing 'Be more organised' try and think what you would like to be organised in. Time management? Finances? Keeping tidy?
NEXT rank them in an order, this could be 'easiest to hardest' or 'urgent to trivial'.
THEN dig underneath the surface to figure out what is stopping you from completing this task.
Try and interpret these questions into each of your 'resolutions' and write it down:
What do I have to do in order to complete this task?
What is stopping me from completing this task?
How do I make a plan for this task?
How do I stick with this task?
What do I do if I lose motivation in this task?
How do I get back on track?
What does it mean to me to complete this task?
What 2019 has taught me
I'm not going to fixate on this too much, mainly because I doubt people are that interested! But from what I've seen on social media most people haven't viewed 2019 as the best year and I for one agree with that! Things I've learnt from 2019:
Emotionally, I am learning more a more about myself
I value my family more and more each day. I wouldn't be much without them
I need to surround myself with people who (at the result of sounding precious and self centred) will drop everything when I'm in need of them. I need people who show up for me and do the right thing
I feel pain through my emotions rather than physically (I learnt this from my injury and my operation)
There's been a lot of endings for me this year, within friendships, family and relationships. But I've learnt that I have a specific way of dealing with endings
What I hope for 2020
I'm only going to share a few with you, nothing too personal (I might leave that for another post)
I hope to be my true self without worrying that I may lose people
I hope that I'm able to stop apologising in situations when something is not my fault
I hope to be stronger and to know my worth. Although I know this will take longer than a year
I hope this year we can focus on ourselves, learn lots and continue to be kind to one another. Thank you for reading, I wish you all good health this year. I wanted to finish by sharing another illustration by Charlie Mackesy.
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